This was the question that plague my mind for the past few weeks.
I didn't told anyone about this because of a few reasons of my own.
I decided I should tell everything that I should have told everyone about.
Its is really my fault for everything that had happen to me ?
I'm not pointing any blame on anyone but... Since we people are moulded by our family, friends and even perhaps the world. But, this begs the question, Since we are effected by unibody factors, Why do we blame on ourselves ?
This is rather deep even for me.
I'm already searching my life meaning in a way =\
Its so frustrating when a you thought of a good question but the answers are abundant. Too abundant this time.
Point in case: Nazirul's unfortunate accident
Ever since I saw him lying on his face after his accident.
I was thinking.
Thinking about the purpose of this accident.
We as people that has religious backgrounds, all ways have known that all of God's work is divine and purposeful. But, I'm certain that putting a 17-year-old into coma is not divine in any ways mean.
This past few weeks or even months, the world is slowly detaching for me.
Physically and Spiritually.
All of my friends, even the close ones, seem like they are slowly taken away from me in one way or another.
Even to my old American buddy, Arifin. I'm pretty sure the dissapperance of his phone might have contributed to not talking to me anymore but, each time I call him or he called me, He's always have to be at somewhere else than his house. I in the meanwhile, was at school most predominatly...
Even so, that wasn't the first one. For the first time this year, my whole gaming clan isn't active. Sure they always talk about pornography and shyt but I didn't feel good about it. I'm not sure wheter that I should have even joined the clan after joining them but now, after our fearless leader ( Tec ) is off to another country to finish his bisness Masters and to start his own company. We of the Patriot's Blood clan, are proud of our 25 elite members ( even me^^ ). Vigorously pwning and owning the other clans into submission. Its been 2 months after Tec's move, the P'sB is now a cold clan, a clan that barely even goes on MSN, I miss them all.
Now, I can only sit alone in front of my PC, thinking, remembering and visualising a better tomorrow for friends and all....
Continuing with Nazirul....
I just don't understand what God's purpose in this.
Is it an act of disiplin for Nazirul ?
Is it a disaster that was supposed to happen a long time ago ?
Is it suppose to show we should be more careful on the road ?
Is it a work for us, by-standers to reconsile while Nazirul lies there on the bed motion-less ?!
"Everything happens for a reason"
I stand on that belief firmly.
Things don't just happen, My PC won't have a crash unless its hardware is screwed-up
It just can't happen that way.
The sad thing is that, he helped me into what I am now, a strong lttle bugger that helps even if it kills him in the process.
When I got hit by the car in '07, I didn't even thought by how many people would be sad about it, since I'm only at that school for 2 months.
I rather be in Nazirul's position that to watch him in my position.
I guess I really miss my high-revving, fellow car-luving, DotA pwning, Kadet Commanding, Friend.
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