Wonders about his world...

" AM I STILL IN THIS WORLD ?! "

This was the question that plague my mind for the past few weeks.

I didn't told anyone about this because of a few reasons of my own.

I decided I should tell everything that I should have told everyone about.

Its is really my fault for everything that had happen to me ?

I'm not pointing any blame on anyone but... Since we people are moulded by our family, friends and even perhaps the world. But, this begs the question, Since we are effected by unibody factors, Why do we blame on ourselves ?

This is rather deep even for me.

I'm already searching my life meaning in a way =\

Its so frustrating when a you thought of a good question but the answers are abundant. Too abundant this time.

Point in case: Nazirul's unfortunate accident

Ever since I saw him lying on his face after his accident.

I was thinking.

Thinking about the purpose of this accident.

We as people that has religious backgrounds, all ways have known that all of God's work is divine and purposeful. But, I'm certain that putting a 17-year-old into coma is not divine in any ways mean.

This past few weeks or even months, the world is slowly detaching for me.

Physically and Spiritually.

All of my friends, even the close ones, seem like they are slowly taken away from me in one way or another.

Even to my old American buddy, Arifin. I'm pretty sure the dissapperance of his phone might have contributed to not talking to me anymore but, each time I call him or he called me, He's always have to be at somewhere else than his house. I in the meanwhile, was at school most predominatly...

Even so, that wasn't the first one. For the first time this year, my whole gaming clan isn't active. Sure they always talk about pornography and shyt but I didn't feel good about it. I'm not sure wheter that I should have even joined the clan after joining them but now, after our fearless leader ( Tec ) is off to another country to finish his bisness Masters and to start his own company. We of the Patriot's Blood clan, are proud of our 25 elite members ( even me^^ ). Vigorously pwning and owning the other clans into submission. Its been 2 months after Tec's move, the P'sB is now a cold clan, a clan that barely even goes on MSN, I miss them all.

Now, I can only sit alone in front of my PC, thinking, remembering and visualising a better tomorrow for friends and all....

Continuing with Nazirul....

I just don't understand what God's purpose in this.

Is it an act of disiplin for Nazirul ?

Is it a disaster that was supposed to happen a long time ago ?

Is it suppose to show we should be more careful on the road ?

Is it a work for us, by-standers to reconsile while Nazirul lies there on the bed motion-less ?!

"Everything happens for a reason"

I stand on that belief firmly.

Things don't just happen, My PC won't have a crash unless its hardware is screwed-up

It just can't happen that way.

The sad thing is that, he helped me into what I am now, a strong lttle bugger that helps even if it kills him in the process.

When I got hit by the car in '07, I didn't even thought by how many people would be sad about it, since I'm only at that school for 2 months.

I rather be in Nazirul's position that to watch him in my position.

I guess I really miss my high-revving, fellow car-luving, DotA pwning, Kadet Commanding, Friend.

Sadden by a friend

I don't really know how to say this. I've gone to the hospital this afternoon. It was me and three other friends..

We reached at around 2 but didn't gone into the ward because visiting hours stopped at exactly 2 and starts again at 4.

When we did gone into the ward. There was a quota of two people per patient in the ICU. For medical reasons of course. Naimah and Azrin came in 1st. They looked devastated after seeing Nazirul.

I was paired up with Evelynn for that. The entrance for the ICU was surreal. It was like trying to go into a butcher shop. We had to wear this disposable apron and wash our hand vigorously just to be considered fine by the Nurses.

*Evelynn... Don't read this part*

Nazirul was the 13th patient of the ICU. Just as we started walking into the ICU Ward. I saw the 1st patient of the ICU. He was in a coma. I briefly scrolled my eyes to his health chart. He was in coma for 6 months. He gotten a stroke.
As we pass the 2nd, 3rd, and 4th patient. I saw the 5th patient was surrounded by Doctors and Nurses. When a whole team of Doctors and Nurses comes up to you, that has to be bad. Sadly, it was. He was going to be check-up by the Doctors, he doesn't look at good to me.
The 6th looks fine, 7th was a bit, lets just say when you see a man immobilized with his mouth opened fully is a touch weird. 8th patient was a kid. He was involved in an accident just like Nazirul but he wasn't that bad to me.
As we walked past the 9th, 10th and 11th patient. I whispered to Evelynn. Saying that the ICU vividly reminds me of Dead Space. Very vivid.
9th to 12th patient looks like they are going to have a long but steady road to recovery.
Then the reason I, Evelynn, Naimah and Azrin came. Patient number 13. PATIENT 13 - NAZIRUL AIZAT. That was in the tag of the front part of his bed.
There, my friend. A friend that held true to me since I was Form 1. The only dude I know in Form 3 that time. The Man that offered me a spot in Kadet Polis.
There he was. Laid on the bed like a man without a living soul. Breathing. In and out, in and out. That is the only thing he could do. Just being there, unconscious.
I was looking at Nazirul for while then turned my head to Evelynn. Her reaction was so clear. Shocked. She stood still for a while. I in the mean time was looking at his injuries. He's injuries are worse than expected. I couldn't even recognised him for a moment. I kept checking the Patient tag. Full Name check. House address check. Age check. School check. IC number check. Thank god his eyelashes were the only thing I could recognise him.
As Evelynn was still shocked. I was looking at his health chart.

*EVELYNN !! YOU SERIOUSLY DON'T WANT TO READ THIS LITTLE PART*

Judging from the injuries sustained by Nazirul, he has most likely touched the ground, head first. Nazirul's injuries to the head, that caused his brain surgery, was a Concussion. Blood was trapped in his brain. The blood levels that were trapped are almost fatal. Its normal for a concussion to be around 200cc-350cc of blood in his head but Nazirul's were almost touching 400cc as I read the health chart. He broke a few ribs. I think he also broken a few more bones from seeing his body. After realising this could make the 3 others go crazy in sadness. I blocked Evelynn from reading it.


Naimah looked like she took it the hardest. Azrin looks lost. While, Evelynn was dazed about his happening.

I took a long time to type this. Its really hard to type this emotionally. I guess I'm crying from the inside, not the outside. I was in the meanwhile, was trying to be the strongest of the batch. I tried help the three to let their emotions out easier.

I hate hospitals. I'm not against it from a being a site of recovery, its just a place where the worse would happen...

I warned him from riding the bike that day. Ahhh nevermind.. It happened any ways.. Can't change it..

Hmm...

Here's the album cover for Attack, Decay, Sustain, Release by Simian Mobile Disco !!!

These two guys are awesome because of two reasons. Firstly, they made Sleep Deprivation *One Hell of a song/trance/disco/whatever you want to call it*. Secondly, they're British. There's nothing wrong with that =)

Hmm... I'm bored so I listed another week of my life in this :DD

Well technically, its only half a week but still a week no less

Saturday
Hmm.. Who would have thought an extra class could be in the morning be this refreshing? Got this new & awesome thing for my PC. Its a thermal paste compound. *WTH?* Its the cooling of the PC hardware & stuff & more stuff... Made my PC more cooler now :D

Sunday
Gone into Folio over-drive. Basically Finished Geography folio and History folio under 24 hours straight. Make that 25 Hours. *Gives a big round of applause to Red Bull Energy Drinks* Sleep Deprivation - Simian Mobile Disco =)

Monday
Sleeps, sleeps and more time for sleeping. Sent my History Folio to somewhere I really like it to be. My Teacher's table. Geography folio wasn't that "completed" yet. So, decided to make is a new & sending it by Thursday.

Tuesday
God started pee-ing again *YAY!!!* Walked in the rain as usual X) Sang a song with friends, good friends =) Pn.Tong is finally happy with my KH master-piece :DD Had an Epicly good match with Gerald. Tickling somebody can only go so far...

Wednesday
Didn't do sports today for some reason. Everyone was playing around, falling around and fooling around of course. Then, Event of the year(-ish) PICTURE DAY^^ . As usual in Picture Day, I sat in front being the smallest guy commander in the Kadet Polis team.. danggggg... but one of the fittest that's for sure =DD Got down to koko time. Azizul *Loves the fact that he isn't Nazirul's smoking air re-freshener*. Vera & Natalie sure do like my sexay phone =) Me & Shangar had the bestest Wens'day tution ever. We laughed so hard man.... Brought a tear to my eye XD

*Hopes for another awesome-r day for Thursday* =DD

One weeks of blogging equals to a hell of a lot to write

I'm pretty sure most of you, felt a bit depressed when one after a while, a bugger comes up & tells you about some of the stuff that we should have done in the holidays.

I have 2 words for most people like this. F*** OFF

Any ways.. Here's a list of what have I've been doing for the past 6(-ish) days

Sunday:
COMPLETED MY OWN 24 HEURES DU LE MANS ( 24 Hours of Le Mans, for some of you that don't know French )

Monday:
Schooling again, Happy to see friends again =)

Tuesday:
2nd Day of Schooling, Seems nice to go to school now, Pn. Tong go destroy my KH folio by ripping apart some of the pages from it. Buggersome teach that wear a blouse like a blind person

Wednesday:
3rd Day, Still a bit sour after that KH incident, Koko time x) Got my own kawad team to torture ( not really ), 2nd person to be called Bugger is my retardedly Kadet Commander, Nazirul. Who the hell says "I didn't smoke", while 20 minutes ago I was his hostage at Al-Safa watching him smoking his ass off to hell faster? Hope you read this & feel you're retardation in my writing. Thank you very much

Thursday:
4th Day, Looks a bit of the normal routine now, I had to finish my Science PEKA Form 1 and Form 2. This happens because of Pn. Rohani "lost" me & Amirul's PEKA file even if she had it before the holidays. I did it & Amirul did it too, thought the day could be more touchingly worse, I just blarg the whole day in total stupidity, After a few chats on MSN, honestly, anger was building inside of me like a rotten apple

Friday:
Finally Day of this week's schooling stint, Pn. Tong still doesn't want to accept that SHE DESTROYED MY FOLIO and forced me to do another one. Anger can be seen more clearly now. I can't whack anyone in frustration because of a promise. Had a Father's Day Futsal match with some of my dad's co-workers. I've never seen him walked that fast before. With my feet in pain, now I feel pain now. Thanks to the 3rd bugger in my list. Lee Jek Sheng. You're ass is sooooo gonna get pwned in DotA when we meet again. I just don't know what to do after that. Go on MSN and face him again? Total waste of bullshittery time.

I might sound like a bugger filled of hatred now, but that's what soulless people do.

Total casualties of food in this week:

2 Big N' Tasties
5 Big Macs ( 3 on Tuesday )
2 Carl's Jr. Superstar ( Real name is to long to type for you information )
3 loaf of Bread ( Because of my addictive pleasures for Toast )
4 Apples ( all Red )
6 Red Bull cans ( yeap. Six. That means I drank 700grams of Sugar. I'm so gonna die of diabetes )


How the hell do I still be this skinny? Ask the Big Guy upstairs

Do you think I'm a touch emo then? Damn this.

The End.

15 Hours left...

Here I, Azizul sitting in front of the TV for 9 hours straight now..

Casualties:
A bag of Chips
2 Tea Bags
2 cans of Original Red Bull

Le Mans is now at its mid point..
"The first 12 Hours are filled by the excitement of the race, but the last 12 Hours are filled by the nervous of finishing." - Sterling Moss

The requirements of watching this is quite huge.. and thats just watching the thing..
Not just mentioning the stuff that the drivers had to go through..

The fatigue of staying up for the race is started to set...

Its not just watching Le Mans now, its a game between your mind and body...

Let the games begin..

Watching Le Mans... 22 Hours left

Let me tell you, you can never watch a race that last more than 3 Hours & never had a cup of coffee or Red Bull...

Let alone, the 24 Hours Of Le Mans... After these 24 hours, I, Azizul is a coffee addict...

I'm trying to fight be awake for 24 Hours....... Then these guys try to DRIVE for 24 Hours... at more than 200 MPH

Long way to go here..

ZOMG ZOMG ZOMG !!! 24 HEURES DE LEMANS !!

I just can't help myself... I as a self proclaimed motorsport luver.. I shall not miss this EPIC event of endurance...

Compare this to anything, Anything, it won't have the history as much 24 Heures De LeMans. In English, its 24 Hours of LeMans.

Yes, you read it right. 24 Hours of racing. 24 HOURS OF NON-STOP RACING IN EXCESS OF 220 MPH !!

These cars are just plain crazy.. Some of the cars in LeMans have an unspeakable amount of horsepower in them. The fastest car I known in LeMans was the Porsche 917, rumoured to have gone more than 270 MPH in the Mulsanne Straight. The blue car you see is the Almighty Porsche 917. AND THAT WAS MADE IN THE 80'S FOR GOD'S SAKE !!!!

The 24 Heures De LeMans is currently at the Circuit de la Sarthe. Circuit de la Sarthe is more than 13km long. One of the longest circuits in the long for sure. Most of the year the circuit is a normal road used by road users but on the second week of June, this road will be savaged by 220 MPHs beasts for a straight 24 hours.

By the way, I think this is a good thing for lazy people in LeMans 24 Hours, 85% of the race is full-throttle. So, that's like what? 20 Hours with your foot down to the floor at more than 220 MPH ? And doing it in the night? With the longest straights in motorsports' history? What?! With 50 cars at the start of the race ?

No wonder this race is epic

Rally of Greece !!! Awesome-ness

Ahh Greece, a nice country in the Southern Europe. Known for its Ancient history, considered as the cradle of civilisation. "A cradle of civilisation", but look at their roads.. It looks like a cave man's arse.. TIME FOR WORLD RALLY CHAMPIONSHIP !!!!

Rally is a sport where men with balls of steel drive suped-up cars through country roads. When I say through, I say anything through. Say any surface of road possible. Snow, Gravel, Mud, Ice, Tarmac, Anything, these cars have to go through them at around.. wait for this... Around 80-100 MPH. yes. Miles per Hour. How crazy are they?

Greece is considered as "the cradle of civilisation" & also the Car Wrecker.
But hey, its not Greece's fault for destroying around RM32 million of expensive race car right?

Look at this then you'll understand



This is Sebastien Loeb & his Citroen, remember I said suped-up? I mean by these cars are BOMB-PROOF



You gotta love to see them fly~~



Here's Chris Atkinson & His Subaru Impreza at the New Zealand Rally 2007

If you still want to know more...

Go watch this video... Its a bit blurry so sorry about that..




Jolene~ TAGGED =)

Finn's blog =)

My friend Arifin =) Ze American colonist, Has made a blog.

So if you want to know about the newest things in Computer Hardware ( Doesn't really mean he will do it ) go to his blog, such as Nvidia ( Oh yea, he hates ATI [ Its a computer company ] ) GPUs ( Graphic Processing Unit ), Motherboards & other stuff..

www.lifeofthenvidiajunkie.blogspot.com

One thing... When at his blog, Prepare for ear deafening Metal songs

Hmm... One more thing... Wonder where did he took that Junkie from... *Looks to My url*

Metrosexualism & My new Phone

"Metrosexual is a neologism of the 2000s generally applied to heterosexual men with a strong concern for their appearance, and/or a lifestyle that displays attributes stereotypically related to gay men." -Wikipedia

I don't know how to start this but can one item affect a man's sexuality?

This is my case of this week, I mean its not the phone's problem, btw the phone's wicked XD

It just started off by one shirt
ONE SHIRT
Then people think otherwise, I've always have that clean image of that nerdy little bugger that pokes his nose into everything but that might change

My mum bought me this shirt for me from FOS & I didn't really mind because its my size =) Size XS-S XD

But since it was tight looking, everyone thought it was a girl's t-shirt, but they come to reconcile & didn't really mind about it

Then one of my bud came and reminded everyone about my pink superman shirt *whats the problem of having a pink shirt?* and like me going to eat 2 BigMacs, they called me gay -__- <- Major WTF face

I'm fine being called Metro, but not gay.. I think I do, I MEAN BY BEING CALLED METRO NOT GAY

& Since this phone's is purple with a dash of pink over it... *prepares non-harmful shotgun for school*

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Anyways,

*Speak in a loose slang* Mah newwt phonee, it iccss awesimeeee. Itzz de doublauuu 380eyeee ( W380i )

I mean really its for lazy people EVERYWHERE, It will embark a new chapter in lazy-ness for people like us. Thanks to GESTURE CONTROL

It works like this, If you don't want to answer a call or SILENCE your alarm *Who doesn't?* you just swipe your hand over the phone & DONE... Call & buggersome Alarm GONE

THINK OF THE POSSIBILITIES, THE HOURS OF STUPIDITY THAT CAN BE SPENT ON JUST THAT GESTURE, THE EPIC FOOOOOLERY IN THE CALLER FACE XD

Its awesome & I finished half an hour on that lazy control by testing it on my American buddy, Arifin XD

It was funny.

Plus with the 2GB ( already filled by me of course ) hellooo REAL mp3 thingy instead of my PSP which is a sleek, glossy brick compared to this phone

Me likey this phone alot

This is because of Jolene =) Thanks~~

1.Besides your lips, where is the favorite spot to get kissed?
Cheeky at the cheek =)

2.How did you feel when you woke up this morning?
Hungry *smells fried chicken*

3.Who was the last person/people you took a photo with?
ughh.... Shangar XD

4.Would you consider yourself spoiled?
Sureeee... Me, "spoiled"

5.Will you ever donate blood?
I did once =) I feel high after that X)

6.Have you ever had a best friend who was of the opposite sex?
Of course what

7.Do you want someone to be dead?
What?! Someone?! Thats a bit.. Evil.. But if its some-thing.. Its the bloody necromorphs in DEAD SPACE X_X

8.What does your last text message say?
Hungry

9.What are u thinking right now?
Where's my new phone X)

10.Do you want someone to be with you now?
err... Friends =)

11.What was the time you went to bed last night?
Around 4am -_- After some stupid clan match again in COD4

12.Where did you buy the tee you are wearing now?
DC SUPAHEROESSSSS *Pink Superman shirt* XD

13.Is someone on your mind right now?
When I say someone, I say not myself of course =)

14.Who was the last person who text you?
Naimah =)

TEN Lucky Person to do this quiz...
1. Zakeeeeee
2. Akmal
3. Vera
4. Evelynn
5. Naimah
6. Sebastien
7. Fuad
8. Belle
9. Arifin
10. Megat

15.Who is no. 2 having a relationship with?
I dunnoe

16.Is no. 3 a male or a female?
Female

17.If no. 7 and and no. 1 get together, would it be a good?
You know, their cousins =_= That would be disturbing.....

18.What is no. 1 studying about?
How to play DotA better =\

19.When was the last time you chatted with them?
I'm pretty sure most of them are from Yesterdayyyy =)

20.Is no. 4 single?
Yeap =) but lots of people are chasing X)

21.Say something about no. 2
MAH BUDDY XD

22.What do you think about no. 2 and no. 6 being together?
That would be more disturbing than Fuad & Zakee

23.Describe no. 9
MAH ROUND AMERICAN DEAD SPACE BUDDY XD

24.What will you do if no. 6 and no. 7 fight?
Woah... Fuad & Seb? Their buds from standard 1 man

25.Do you like 8?
err... ugh.. As a friend, yes =)

PS: Looks like my blogging blitz is a FAIL, b*gg*r

Button,,, You're just awesome..

Jenson is first as usual... He's beyond god right now...

Second is Vettel ( AWESOME !!!!!!!!!! )

Third is the second Red Bull, Mark Webber ( WICKED !! )

Enough said XD

Last Blog before the Istanbul Race...

This is the Qualifying results from yesterday...

1) Sebastien Vettel - Red Bull
2) Jenson Button - Brawn GP
3) Rubens Barrichello - Brawn GP
4) Mark Webber - Red Bull
5) Jarno Trulli - Toyota
6) Kimi Raikkonen - Ferrari
7) Felipe Massa - Ferrari
8) Fernando Alonso - Renault
9) Nico Rosberg - Williams
10)Robert Kubica - BMW Sauber

I'm off to watch the Race =) See ya !!

COME ON START THE RACE NOW !!!!!

GO VETTEL !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
GO RED BULL !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
GO BRAWN GP !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
GO BUTTON !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
GO PWN FERRARI & McLAREN'S ARSES !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Langkawi Day 1

So here's the first wave of the blitz =)

I was playing Dead Space to max on the last hours before we all started to move to Langkawi for the trip. When I say max, I say Got-Scared-To-The-Shyt-Out-Of-Your-Pants Max. We we're going to move at 3 in the morning... I played Dead Space in 2..
So there I was helping my mum packing our stuff for the three day trip in Langkawi.
How much clothes does my mum thinks we need for our Langkawi trip? Two words: Friggin Loads

After trying to pack a million shirts into this Huge Bag.. I was a bit bewildered by the amount of packing ( still am ). I decided to use my awesome-ly small Adidas bag for this occasion and it is awesome-ly small for this trip too =)

I put some essentials in the bag of course. My essentials are my PSP, the Camera and err... This slab of silver coloured brick that people call a phone. Anything else, leave it TO DIE.

I didn't know what to do but to wait until time to put my arse in the car & wait for around 8-9 hours of driving till we reached to the most Northern part of Malaysia, PERLIS.. It sounds sooo Northerny already

Then we moved in THREE IN THE MORNING. I was in the car first. I'm always the first for that matter. Then my dad, asked me, to sit, BEHIND ! The farthest place in Malaysia & I'm gonna be there in the farthest place in the family's car. Yea, thanks. -_- I'm quite sure most of you know that I ride in a Toyota Prado or Toyota Land Cruiser in other parts of the world. Even for a car thats THAT BIG, it just fits me in the back-back seat, The 3rd row.

And when I say just fit, I say my knees are pointed to the sky in hope for some reason of this type of "torture". So there I was sitting in Toyota's trash bin, watching Pink Panther 2 on the on-board DVD player in the Land Cruiser ( It sounds so much more cooler than a Prado ). That still didn't kill my boredom so I decided to use my PSP to kill it for sure =)

So, there's 7 hours to kill and a PSP in hand... Whhat do you do? Sleep? Play PSP? No, I was worrying about food out of all places. After some food later, more than a normal person would need, I was full =)

So, another 6 hours, I decided ( for real this time ) to use the PSP just to play music =) *cue Daft Punk*

Then when my PSP was at the end of its battery life~ When reached Perlis, to be more accurate, Kuala Perlis, to be a much more buggersome accurate, The Kuala Perlis Jetty

After an hour of slow Ferry usage.. We finally reached Langkawi. After 9 Hours, we reached the Island at 12 in the afternoon.

We're gonna take a rental.. A rental.. Yea, a rental, A RENTAL

Its a 7 seater ( I'm not really sure about that, I barely even fits me now ), a 2.0 liter wait for this.... A Mitsubishi Space Wagon. It sounds so, unreliable for some reason & I have proof about it. The door handle actually pop-ed open when I used it, the cup holders came off more than if needs too, the lights don't work correctly and the exhaust drop and floor-ed out once in a while.

After the Rental episode, We head off to our Hotel. Its a hotel that will remind you of Twilight ever single time you say the name... The Bella Vista



Yea, yea it MIGHT look awesome but let me tell you, its not really awesome in the inside..

Anyways the end of the day I spent on:

1) Trying the believe phone broadband is a good replacement for REAL broadband
2) Watching TV when there's no real TV to watch *cue Daft Punk's The Brainwasher*
3) Stopped believing in Phone Broadband & started hacking into Langkawi's internet mainframe =)
4) Took more time than I supposed to took for hacking internet
5) *Founds out internet in Langkawi is slow & hopeless*
6) Sleeps
7) Tries hacking internet again *This time is the hotel's internet*
8) Hogs internet
9) Sleeps for real now

Prepare for blogging blitz Number 2

Time for a blogging blitz.. literally

So I'll tell you what I am gonna type on this weekend

Think of this as a redemption of my long time of non-blogging

So prepare for this:

Langkawi Day 1

Langkawi Day 2

Langkawi Finale

The Drive back home

F1 AT ISTANBUL !!

QUALIFIYING F1 AT ISTANBUL !!

THE WINNER !!! *HOPES FOR A RED BULL/BRAWN*

New Phone (maybe)*?!*

This could be one hell of a blitz or a fail

I'll bet most of them are gonna be up after a few hours
Pictures are big.. I mean by 8 megapixels of big..